Tag Archives: The Saturdays

I am locked out of the house.

I am presently sat on my front porch. I have been for the past ten minutes. I probably will be for the next half an hour. This is my parents new house. No-one knows me here. I have no battery on my phone. I have two bottles of wine with me, bought for an evening with a friend tonight. I have a cold.

It is hailing.

These, it is fair to say, are dire circumstances. I have seen two neighbours in their houses opposite sniggering through their windows. To them I must look like a alcoholic, stylish (LET ME HAVE IT, I HAVE ICE DOWN MY BACK) and indeterminably pathetic hobo, with an iPod touch.

As the only appliance I have available able to distract me from my shit life, I am using said iPod to list songs that are making me feel better about the complete absurdity of this situation (spoiler warning: ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ is not present). Continue reading

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The 41 Greatest Singles of 2011

And here they are.

So, 2011 has sort of happened hasn’t it? And quite a lot of artists released good singles in it, which can get a bit confusing in the day and age where LMFAO are the year’s biggest selling iTunes artist. So HERE ARE the best fourty one singles 2011 had to offer, in reverse order so there’s a poptacular drum-roll from the ‘fucking good’ through the ‘absolutely chuffing brilliant’ right up to the ‘OH MY BLOODY GOD’ ones at the end. Any problems? Of course not. Here we go. Continue reading

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