Tag Archives: X Factor

Jessie J

It’s 2010. You can imagine the confusion at Island Records. Having signed Jessica Cornish to their roster, the pressing question was what to do with her. She had proved that she could pen a hit (Miley Cyrus’ Party In The USA went #1 in America), she had proved that she could sing – and whatever else I write here I would like to ensure that people are aware that I know she can sing – but where would she fit in the current pop climate? Were they to mold her into a Lady Gaga-esque outlandish megapop queen? A semi-rapping Rihanna pastiche? Or an inspirational hip pop balladeer a la Natasha Bedingfield? And the sad truth of the answer is that they opted for a car crash of all three.

J-J-J-J-Jessie J
It is important that people understand that I did not have to look very hard to find this picture. Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , ,

Little Mix are no longer ‘the token girlband who’ll probably go out next week’

They are officially ‘in the running’. And on behalf of a nation perilously close to receiving an album by Craig Fucking Colton may I say thank god.

Tagged , , ,

Brace yourselves everyone.

Sticks + Stones

Clips of a reasonable length from Cher Lloyd‘s album are up on iTunes…and they don’t sound half bad. Good, you might say. Really good, you might say. Brilliant, even. Swagger Jagger will have to be immediately removed from the tracklisting of course (or at least, the chorus will), but it sounds very much like this will be somewhere above the region of great.

I could be wrong, and the whole thing outside of those 13.5 minutes of clippy wonderfulness could just be Cher screeching about how much everyone hates her and wants to be her, but it could well not be. It could be a nine track tour de force featuring Cher finally fulfilling all that potential she oozed all over the X Factor stage. But either way, I have quite a bit of hope now. And only a track as collosally shit as Swagger Jagger could destroy that.

So please Cher, for the sake of my blog (and my sanity) don’t make me change my mind again. Stick with being brilliant or wallow firmly in the shit.


Tagged , ,

Controversy of the day: Rhythmix

As you may or may not be aware, Rhythmix are a band put together on and competing to win The X Factor. This is what they look like:


Lovely. As you may or may not also be aware, earlier today Rhythmix (the charity) sent an open letter to Simon Cowell about the name of Rhythmix (the band). In short: Rhythmix (the charity) are threatening legal action unless Cowell, or anyone really, changes the name of Rhythmix (the band) because Rhythmix (the charity) thinks that having Rhythmix (the bandname) in the public eye is causing “negative impact” on the charity’s activities. This was all sparked off by Simon’s cronies attempting to trademark the name Rhythmix across Europe, apparently.

To sum up: Rhythmix is a hard word to spell. Continue reading

Tagged , , , ,

Can we just get one thing straight?



Well done everyone involved. Really. Pat on the fucking back.

Tagged , , , ,